Can u have a relationship on the run

So I’ve mentioned before that I’ve kinda been seeing this person. Well I’m in my feeler box tonight or at least I have been for almost a week now. This person went goast on me and it’s not only really hurt my feelings but like really f****** my emotions I was really starting to like this person and you know now I just feel like everything that they said to me was nothing but the scam to get me in bed and then once they got me in bed now that’s over and done with they conquered their quest. Move on to the next. So why say all the bullshit lies, for example “I miss you”, ” I care about you”, “you’re the only one I’ve been with”. Lol. Hahahahaha that one gets me every time.. only one my ass maybe today, but u fuckin other bitches too let keep it 100. If all you want to do is fuck no strings attached.. say so. I can be cool with that. If for some odd reason you catch feelings then we can come to that later. But don’t sit there and tell me you care about me when you and I both know that’s not even true it’s wrong to f*** with someone else’s mental stability it’s actually just wrong to lie to anybody about anything why can’t people just keep it 100 tell it like it is and if the other person doesn’t like it move on okay well obviously this is not suited for you but why does people have to manipulate and con and hurt other people it just doesn’t make sense to me. It has been 16 years the 20th that I have been with men when my 16-year-old son was born I came out of the closet I left the father of my kids and I got with a woman which only later on got me kicked out of my parents house but you know how parents can be when they’re only daughter walks down the stairs saying hey I’m a lesbian with her girlfriend following right behind her. I have been with women my entire life all up until 3 years ago when I met my ex who is a dude and I don’t know what it is about him or what it was about him and I tell this to his face all the time but from the day I met him I was head over heels in love with him I would do just about anything for him and I know that it’s not the same for him and I still want to be with him anyway that’s a little off topic. I just recently started dating guys and as you know from reading my prior blogsI’m just freshly out of my recent relationship with my ex we’ve been split up for 6 months, and just about a month ago I started talking to this person that I’ve been knowing and have been interested in for quite some time but because I was already in a relationship and I’m loyal and faithful I couldn’t pursue getting to know those other person so this other person starts showing interest in me and I’m trying to kick it with them and hang out to the point where I’m pretty sure you can tell that I’m uncomfortable especially when I go to be dropped off back at my house or he goes to bring me home or something I just hop out the car say bye and leave in a normal dating relationship you probably give your person that you’re dating a kiss or a hug goodbye to where I don’t. I feel like I’m still doing something wrong and then I finally start letting my guard down a little at a time because I’m seeing said person more and more and then one day a week ago he says he gets a night job and now he’s went ghost on me. So I start letting my guard down I start letting myself feel some kind of emotion for this person and the minute I do they up and burn out and completely ignore my phone calls text messages and act like I don’t exist which only makes me want to put my guard back up and not date anybody ever again. People wonder why I don’t like to talk or open up or show emotion or any kind of feeling towards anything at all this is why every time I do I get lied, to f***** over, cheated on, stood up, brushed off, I can go on for days. This is the way I see it if a mother f***** don’t want to be with me for the me I am and not to me they would like me to be then I don’t need them I’ve been doing this rodeo all by myself for 39 years already and I’ve been doing a damn good job of it on my own so far so really don’t need nobody else the fact that I don’t need them and I choose to have these people in my life you should mean a lot but clearly it don’t no matter how hard you try for a m*********** no matter how loyal you are at the end of the day the only thing that matters to other people is themselves

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