I hate you I fucking hate you!!!! Why can’t I quit this mother fucker. He don’t deserve me or anything I do for him. Straight up he’s a piece of s*** he didn’t care when I had nobody to help me move. He didn’t care if I lost everything. Did he try to even help me? Fuck no!! I have dudes beating down my door trying to get with me and I pay none of them any attention because I’m head over heels for this f****** asshole. Why?? Why do I give a f***? why am I so deeply in love with this dude that don’t care what he does to me? Then again I’m the one that just keeps going back.
Time and time again he’s done nothing but showe how little he really cares about me. You would think by now I would just let him go and move on. Trust me I have tried. It’s alot easier said than done. Yesterday I found out that I have to go to prison to do a 120 (that means I have to go do a 4 month treatment) I told him I want to spend time with him before I go and he has blown me off all day. I need to just get the hint already and say fuck him and move on, but my heart won’t allow me too. Ive been seeing someone that I’ve known for a little bit and he’s been after me for a while now but has respectfully kept our running into each other strictly business and nothing more. A few weeks ago I was walking down the street when this person saw me, he stopped to see what was up we exchanged numbers and we have been talking a little bit here and there. I invited him over for dinner twice and both times I got stood up. Not bc he didn’t want to come but bc he had gotten busy and couldn’t get away, but still that’s the same crap my ex was doing except my ex was too busy cheating on me. But then dude invites me out of town and then completely ignores me ever since it’s like why ask me to go if you never really had any attention on me going. Getting to the point where you can’t trust anything anybody says me myself when I say I’m going to do something I do it I don’t say things I don’t mean I don’t feel people’s head up with lies I keep it 100 it doesn’t seem like anyone else around here can do that.